So in my last post I mentioned that I was a leader at a high school youth retreat this last week. When I first got contacted about going, I thought to myself, sure, no prob, just a few high schoolers doin stuff. Cake. Then as the retreat drew nearer, I began to think, “What was I thinking?! I don’t want to spend MY spring break with obnoxious high schoolers!” That sentiment grew stronger when I found out there were myriads of girls going. So as I got ready to leave Sunday, I was dreading it. In between the girl talk and the listening to High School Musical, things only seemed to get worse on the way to Yachats. To me this trip was just going to be high schoolers wanting to have fun. I didn’t think they would really care about the reality of Christ. I mean, I didn’t when I was in high school. But to my surprise, I was totally wrong. When we arrived Sunday night, things didn’t get off on a great start, one of the other leaders had to take some girls aside and chat with them. On top of that, the other girls were screaming. It came time for worship and teaching time. As we worshiped and Daniel taught, I looked around and just saw the kids staring off. I was thinking “They don’t care. They don’t want this.” But I regret thinking that. Quite a few of these kids had no relationship with our Heavenly Father whatsoever, and I believe that it was at that moment that Daniel was teaching about the reality of our sin, when God was beginning a most marvelous work. My frail, weak, human eyes couldn’t see what was happening spiritually. It wasn’t until Tuesday evening, that I really begin to see the hearts of these kids. Slowly over the course of time the kids became cool, okay so it was the next day. They were removed from their groups, exposed and vulnerable. They didn’t have their other high school friends to influence them. They were raw, and some of them broken. When I realized that, my whole outlook changed. The high schoolers became cool. I realized, that wow, they actually cared about worship, they just may not have known how to worship. They cared about Christ, but they may just not have know Him…until know. Over the course of those three days, it was firmly laid out that we are indeed sinners, consumed by sin, redeemed by Christ, and in debt with our lives to Him. The most beautiful thing was, that 4 kids (I think four) realized that with the utmost sincerity and made Jesus Christ the Lord of their lives. That is when I saw what was going on spiritually. These kids needed answers, they needed love, and they were finding it in Jesus Christ. Earlier in the post I mentioned in caps MY spring break. How selfish was that? I wasn’t going on the retreat for my benefit, I wasn’t going on it for the kid’s benefit, because I certainly had nothing to offer them, or maybe so I thought. I was going for the Lord’s use, and I failed to realize that at first. Now, granted, I have no clue if I had any impact in any of those kids lives, but none the less, I was there for God’s use, and His use only. I was there as a leader. Yes, leaders enforce rules and whatnot, but most importantly, leaders try to point those that are following towards the love of Jesus Christ. That is what those kids needed, and praise God, that is what happened those days at the retreat. I doubt that a single one of those 20 kids went away WITHOUT seeing, and possibly experiencing the love that Jesus Christ has to offer. After all, that to me at least, was the focus. I feel bad about being selfish about things, it wasn’t about me, it necessarily wasn’t about the kids either, it was about Jesus, and pointing the kids towards Jesus. That was all that mattered. To me, everything could have been a flop, but if those kids came away with a deeper, more committed relationship with Christ, it would have all been worth it. Now, I am pumped to work with these high schoolers this summer. I can only hope and pray that God will use me more. I realized that these kids are no different than me (except younger and lacking decent music tastes , they are humans in a desolate sinful world, looking for the eternal, everlasting love. The only real difference was, at the time, that I had found it in Jesus Christ, and some had not and still haven’t. I want to do my best to show that love to them. As David said in Psalm 63:3, “Your unfailing love is better than life itself” (combination of different versions). How true that is, and I so want those kids to know that, and experience that fulfilling love. As Pastor Jeff Stewart said this last Sunday, Christ is the only one that can give you peace, when you don’t know what is going on. That also falls into the category of love, Christ is the only one that can love you when you don’t know what you’ve done. I hope that my life will be an example to these kids and to everyone, of the love that Christ has for us.

Just a side note: A couple hundred words ago, I mentioned the kids being away from their peers, their cliques, their groups. It was when they were open and vulnerable that Christ started His cleansing work. This is so evident in my life, and the lives of others, that when we get within our groups and are influenced by them, we sometimes tend to shut Christ out. This is soo sad. He may want to use us to change our friends lives as well, but He can’t when we won’t let Him. We need to make ourselves open and vulnerable, no matter how much it will hurt, in our groups of friends. We need to make ourselves ready to be used by God. We need to let go. As one of my favorite sayings goes “Let go and let God”